any other thoughts?

you guys won immunity, were you happy? Would you like to get an active player like Madea on your tribe instead? How does playing your first game in many, many years feel?

Super happy to have made it past the first week. Super nervous that I was inactive during the reward challenge which likely make me an early target on a very active team. Team is super chill. Looking to make it five strong to the merge. To that, I think that's my main goal for this first time. If I could make it deep again, that'd be awesome, but one step at a time for now.

How the other team managed to make four locks as a pair, I'll never understand. Here I was, lost out of my mind, and we were only missing one player, Madea. What the hell. And how the heck is Tyrion gone?!?! So effing annoyed. My guess is they'll keep Illuminati around again... Keep him around to the merge and bleed out the original Gilyak. Going to have to figure out something soon, or by the time of the merge, assuming I'll get there, I'll be next...

Still trying to figure this game out. I feel like I have an alliance, but I really don't know anymore. I trust the ones I have set up communication with, but with the number of players already dwindling, each round leaves me a mess. I mean, I already apparently have people targeting me to have by asking my tribemates to throw challenges. Sigh. Another challenge, another solid team effort.

Got a bit nervous this challenge that Audrey was part of an ever creeping sting operation to have people throw a challenge so they'd get rid of me, but, luckily, Audrey was just a bit distracted. Thank god!! Whether she knows it or not, Audrey is definitely the person I trust the most, so I want to keep it strong between us. Apart from, super happy my tribe had a great rhythm going as the challenge progressed. Every challenge I'm going to go hard. I can't see myself ever throwing a challenge, so if it makes me a target it, so be it. I'm sure it'll backfire on me, but as long as I make the jury and have an effect on the end, I'm up for mixing it up.

I imagine I'll be going tonight... I knew I already had a target on my back the previous go, so immunity was a must. But since the recent game was somewhat luck based, I decided to sit out altogether to let someone else appear competitive and double up as maybe he's not as competitive at these challenges as we thought. To that, Bobby is making a stink, so maybe, they'll switch to him. Either way, it's a shame how this game has evolved. I'm rather bothered by the group in power. But, oh well, so it goes. In the end, I can be the bitter jury member and enjoy that moment.

My head is exploding... I have no idea where anyone is coming from... I feel like the best play is to go for Ariana, but I have no idea where Audrey and Magic truly land. Ariana is going to roll through these votes if she survives past this one, I feel, and she'll pretty much be a guarantee to the finals. To that, Ekki keeps winning. Damn. That last one burned. My ideal game was to win immunity and then partner up with Ekki to blindside someone, but, oh well...

!!!! Made it to the final two !!!! Can't believe I did - eked out a lot of clutch wins!! This last vote is so hard!! Feel personally closer to Magic, but that's the problem, isn't it!! She's just so damn friendly, I mean, that's what everyone said!! And then, Ekki, strong competitor!! What does the jury care about?!?! I can't even deal with the decision!!! Mind. Going. Numb.